What to do about self talk and chronic worries?

We’ve all had moments of self doubt, low self esteem, and hopelessness. Moments that make us think: “I cannot do it”, “I am not good enough”, “Nothing is ever going to work out for me.” These moments riddle our minds with negative thoughts and feelings.

Negative thoughts are cognitions about the self, others, even the world that are characterized by negative perceptions, attributions, and expectations.

Negative thoughts are a part of life, part of the human experience. Even those with the healthiest of mindsets are susceptible to negative thoughts. It’s a part of the human
experience.

The dangers of negative thinking is that it can lead to chronic worry, anxiety, depression, and unhealthy obsession.

Fortunately, these thoughts can be turned around. If you feel bogged down by negative thoughts, therapy may be a helpful solution to help you learn how to change your negative thought patterns.

Identify when you tarted to have these negative thought patterns, then acknowledge it as something you want to change in your life. Articulate what you don’t like about this pattern and how you would want it to be different. Finally, choose a different pattern that you would want to replace it with. It’s important this pattern and cognition is something that serves you and your goals.

Another way to getting your negative thoughts out of your head is to write them down.
Write down why the negative thought is there and look at it on a piece of paper or screen.
Writing it out could help you get these emotions out of your head. Being able to see
these words written may also allow you to make sense of you thoughts, so that you move forward.

Another psychological tool to help you get relief from chronic worry and negative thinking is the use of affirmations. Focus on the positive things in your life and lean into that feeling of gratitude. Write down these affirmations, they can range from the things that you are proud of, or that bring you pleasure in life. Focus on the positives of your life, no matter how big or small they are. Write down the things that you are grateful in life and use them as daily affirmations. Things such as, “I have a great friendship with my co-workers.” “I may not ALWAYS love what I do, but I am contributing something to the world”, “I am good at cooking dinner for my family, it’s how I take care of them”.

Think of your gratitudes. Make them your affirmations. Whenever a negative thought enters your mind, say your affirmations. It might take a while for this to start working but positive thinking is a daily task. You will get better at it with time.

One thing most experts agree on, is that taking a moment to pause while in the throws of a negative thought can go a long way. If you find yourself in this situation, slow down. Focus on your thoughts and ask yourself a few questions:

• Why am I feeling this way?
• What made you see yourself or your situation in this negative light?

Finally, ask yourself, is this a true thought that should be worked upon, or is it your
inner critic aggravating your peace of mind. If it is your inner critic, focus and remember that these feelings skew reality. Keep in mind, you are worthy of fulfilling, healthy and trusting relationships in your life.

If you feel caught up in a whirlwind of negativity, take a moment to pause. Slow down. Focus on your thoughts and figure out why you are feeling this way. For example, if you are picturing and visualizing yourself in a negative light, ask yourself why you are seeing yourself this way. Try to figure out if this is true and something that should be worked on. Is it your inner critic aggravating your peace of mind? If it is your inner critic, focus and remember that these feelings could be skewed from how things really are. Thoughts and feelings are not necessarily facts, after all.

All of this is of course easier said than done and something that will require practice and regular use. But if you are able to refocus on a healthier outlook of reality, and not allow the aggravating thoughts to consume you, it might go a long way.

If you need help, please do not hesitate to contact us to make an initial appointment.